Lord of love
my honey-sweet
summer's dream,
my one and only
true eternal lover,
you are my hope
my continuity.

The woods were
dark and damp today
shadowy mists
enveloped the
dancing maidens -
their silver bodies
wrapped in milky day moon light.

Water dripped
bathing gently, eternally
the moss covered stones.
I walked on
and saw a thin
stream of water
being given birth to
by the brackeney hillside.

In such haste was she
the new born river
not yet ready to run
yet tumbled over
a dark much polished, shiny
granite slab - dispersed,
spread itself thinly
all over losing its that.

A little further on
the water so malleable
cut a path, made a groove
in a corner - now a stone
cradled the infant stream water!
Tenacity pays off
I thought - my lord
you are born out of
a strong willed, searching
tenacious heart -
my chant, my mantra!

So lost was I in
my own thoughts -
my new discovery
that I walked on, missing
the narrow footpath
nearly touching he edge
of Skeine Loch
fell in soaking my boots
and a dripping wet behind!

Bitter cold winds
cut through my coat
calmer waters
blended with the skies
all is now still, chill grey
wet winter day
yet there is fire and
warmth I carry within.

I walk and I walk
with a song in my soul
In my mind's eye
I paint the sky
dawn pink and cloudless
with the hint of a sunrise
in the east, I walk some more
you walk beside me
in your company
nothing is impossible.

Winter snows, chill winds,
wet bottoms, soaking shoes
even the whipping down icy rain
I embrace them all and
transform them into
life enhancing, warming
golden summer sun -
you are the only Sun
for me, my transcendent lover
transformer of all suffering
into eternal joy!

Lord of love
light of my life,
today I hold the hand
of an old frail man
and kiss it!
His eyes are tearful
he is fearful
waiting for death
the dreaded certain end!

Sitting in his antiseptic
Hospital bed he says:
"This time I have been
reprieved, next time I
may not be so lucky!"

Next time
the light may go out
pools of his grey green eyes
will have no spark,
his transparent ears
with tufts of hair - owl like,
his purple veined cheeks
like the map of Wales,
his knotted, gnarled hands
will all become inert,
still as a statue, icy, cold, lifeless.

I encourage him
tell him to go on living,
loving and enjoying life.
" Seek help as soon as
you feel unwell, as soon as
the symptoms appear,
call the doctor."

But death, my compassionate love
is never curable and it is
our destiny we will all go.
I know this certainty
my love, as I too
race towards the end of my time.
Joy fills my heart
I write a love song for Yama
and welcome his approach,
fearless in my faith
and love of you - my honoured love!

Lord of love
my light, my life
Ruler of my heart -
beyonder than the beyond
further than the farthest
I searched high and low
circled and combed the Universe.

I looked for love in corners
places which were
bereft, bare and empty
I irrigated barren lands
with love and planted flowers
they were all unseen my love
un-cherished their beauty dimmed.

I came to know that
often it is difficult to
resuscitate the dead
but old habits die hard
in dark mid winter
night of my soul
unreality is perceived
as real and much effort I spent
in converting a mere light bulb
into the all sustaining sun.

With painful experience
I know that quiet moments
are precious they are
to be savoured in your
blissful, beautiful company.
Solitude sings to me
songs of your sweet presence!
You breathe life
into this old fish
and turn fool's gold
into my precious ingots.
Since you are with me
my eternal love
no mortal being
can ever match your giving!

So blessed are you, my love
that moon beams bathed
your face last night.
My glorious Heart,
you my loving Knight
my self, my pulse
the beat of my heart
authentic heir
to my mortal throne.

I welcome you in my heart
daily, I cradle you and sing to you
and find new ways to worship you
on each new day you are
the emperor of my soul
my enchantment
my sacred lover
my Golden Magician.

Lord of love
light of my life
I make music and dance
for you!

Sometimes when the external
oppression is magnified
in meaningless words
and I am so aware of time
and my life ebbing away
I call on you
to comfort me!

It is midwinter in my soul
it is cold within
and frozen without
the spirit of my dead father
calls at this hour guided
by the full moon
it holds me at the dead of night.

All is stillness
in the muffled moonbeams
time is suspended
for a moment.
Charcoal grey
skeletal trees keep watch
poised like sentinels
no one stirs.

Your words of wisdom
are conveyed
without language
without sound -
there is life in death
and death in life
have nothing to fear
my daughter
when I an your eternal lover
Shantanu is with you
your solitude is turned
into precious bliss.

Dawn approaches
a golden light
kisses the garden
all is made
whole again
the eternal lover
in company with
the blessed father reign.

Lord of love
my subtle body
mind spirit,
how often you pick me up
when I plummet down
like a fledgling fallen
from a sky high nest!

You pick me up gently
and rock me like a babe
restore myself to me
heal me, make me, mend me,
and give me new energy.

You bring me to the present
when I dwell on past pain
preoccupied with real or
imagined injustices, wrongs
and when I am stuck
truly see no way forward!

When I am weary
of endless labouring
buried in increasing paper work
and bureaucracy
wasting my life
wasting my time
no time for creativity
earning my living
in a harsh regime.

My limbs ache daily
when I sit still in
seemingly useless meetings
to work out procedures
for measuring unproductive
productivity -
I see my life slip fast.

My lower back aches
my left leg swells up
I cannot walk
you give me warmth
your special healing heat
makes me better.

When bureaucracy
of my livelihood
feeds on my life
you give me patience
and compassion
you teach me generosity
and love
you tell me to overlook
the insensitive who hurt
and take pleasure in
other people's pain.

The candle of my life
is dimly lit and burning fast
"live in the present,"
you tell me
"gather joy in each
living moment
be tolerant
love your environment
and all sentient life."

You are my eternal happiness
my love, I am blessed indeed
to be your wife
for the rest of this
brief life!

My darling love
my tender one
each day is
a new discovery,
each ending of
the day a treasure,
each night fall
a reminder of
the comfort and closeness
you bring.

In this deserted mansion
live many ghosts
from the past
I hear their footsteps
I hear their conversations
but with you beside me
I have the courage
to give them freedom
to freely wander and roam
in echoing empty rooms
and whispering halls.

Your wisdom has no ending
your love is unconditional
my blessed one - the more
you give the more I need.
You tell me with such certainty
to be patient, to be still and
let moments flow and move on
when the time comes
I will too, there is no hurry.

My tender love, my nurturer
your charm and tact keep me
comforted, alive and warm,
keep me safe, keep me equanimous.
Late at night, I reflect
I would have given in
a long time ago
losing my dignity
losing my self-respect
in the process.

One should never be
a guest outstaying her welcome
this journey is a solitary quest
each step an uncharted,
undiscovered territory
but with you by my side
my love, my guide
I am certain
to find the answer
what is it all about
me, my mortal life?

Fountain of unending love
light of my life
in the darkest recesses
and forgotten corners of my mind
I see light and rainbow colours.

I wake up in the grey gloom
of an other rain soaked day
with a song in my heart - I
feel cosy and warm
clothed in oceans of love.

You paint the sky gold
and hang it with silver light
sweep away the dark clouds
from the dome of my life
you're that rare light beam
that accompanies me
on my journey to the vortex.

Travelling with you
my journey's true companion
has allayed my phantom fears
and death is an important milestone
that I need to savour and reach -
another enchantment
yet to be savoured.

You have helped me
to view mortality differently
it is another maze of mysteries
that I would pass through
until then my love
blessed am I my true one
to have your company and love
in the forever land!

Lord of my body and soul
keeper of my spirit, my only love
your footsteps keep me company -
sometimes out of loneliness
when I am feeling low
I lose my way
only to discover that
another's company is a bigger misery.

I entertained, I thought a friend
the other night
I gave him delicious food and wine
listened to his tales
of various accomplishments
his heroic deeds were
minutely told slowly all
of epic dimensions.

He said that he missed the comfort
of another person's body
next to him in bed
he missed the warmth and the touch
above all he missed sex, he said,
how wonderful it is to feel
a woman beside one he added nostalgically
and making love is heavenly,
he looked in my direction to give him
more - my body.

I thought of you then most lovingly
with reverence in my heart
I don't miss the comfort of another body
I don't miss sex - detached from me
a commodity, a dose of medicine,
a pill to take for my emotional health?
You are there always to warm my heart,
my body, my soul, myself.

You feed me, nourish me, nurture me and lead me, to make me
discriminate right from wrong,
to recognise and know pure love
when I see it and acknowledge
with tenderness and gratitude what is given true marriage of body and spirit.
You make me discriminate
right from wrong - and vow before love when I see it.

You are there to shower me
with love and compassion
for all life large or small.

The blackbird searching
for a worm on a winter wet day
is loved and cherished by you.
The dunnock picking winter berries
the sparrow taking a bath in a puddle dances and splashes, rolls around shaking his puffed wings!
It causes you much joy, my love
and I join in with you.

My solitude is truly blessed
you nourish me in body and mind
and teach me to welcome
each sodden, wet, inhospitable dawn of a chill winter's grey coat day and transform my sciatic pain.
My stiff arthritic body is
Irrigated anew with a feeling
that transcends time, transcends the body and is turned into a loving forcefield a girdle of protection circles me!

You are the one certain light
that illuminates my life
my blessed one - my teacher
and my lover - my rarest of rare friends
I sing the song of you - please keep me warm in your secure embrace I am held
most humbly I love you!

My light, my life
I am dogged by doubts
and uncertainty today
I am questioning my
generosity my openness
and ask how cheap is
friendship for some people?
How little they can give
of themselves and how large
their appetites are in comparison?

I generalise from specifics, I guess
because of my doubts I ask -
I give freely, don't expect much
in return and simple 'thank you'
will nicely do.
But when these friends don't value
my feelings or me and feel
easily attacked when I tell them
to appreciate kindness and
unconditional love that is bestowed!

I make excuses and say
perhaps it is that time of the year
when cheerless is the heart it
finds the body's larder cold and bare
perhaps they are filled with inner emptiness
and nothing will fill them - I walk away.
You call me back and lighten my burden
and give me new generosity to forgive
threadbare meanness and accept
without judgement without returns
and love.

You remind me to turn around
and look, smell the fragrance in
a cold, dim lit hallway and see
the lilies still blooming and
spreading their scent in my house
in me. They smell Spring
and someone out of loving kindness
carried them to me.
Their nature pervades the house
and overwhelms with joy and love.

The hurt is replaced with love
I must not dwell on pain
and lost causes I choose
to move on and renew and knit
the fabric of remnant of my life
in the colours that suit me
and in the style that I want.
It is so comforting to know
that you are here with me
holding my hand and you have done that
from the time began!

Lord of love - light of my life
My ever-present listening angel!

The dappled song thrush singing
At five on a January morning
Has uplifted my low spirit an inch.

It is January outside but frozen
February has a firm grip on my heart
March a distant bold step yet
To be tried and taken!

So many years have gone since
My sister died in youth
And yet the grief in my heart
Feeds on time unlived by her.
You will never be forgotten
As my mind dwells on
the untimely deaths
Of millions unfortunate ones.

They died of suffering inflicted
By others and tortures endured
In Auschwitz, in Serbia, Bosnia,
Croatia, in China, Tibet, Zimbawbe,
Rwanda, Brundi, Sri Lanka
And elsewhere on this earth.

I carry a candle in my heart
For you Saroj - and sunflowers
For others who died long before
They came into bloom
Their lives dimmed before time.

For some reason the song
Of the song thrush in the
Early winter morning
Winter darkness and you
Are firmly linked in my heart
My tender love - you both
Take away the living pain
That is a part of me.

You give me love that is
Constant and never taken away
The precious, rare love that does not
Come with expectation
After the chill February darkness
You are my March hope!

Lord of love - light of my life
In your adoration I have polished
The brass and made the glass
A sparkling heart - mirror.

All dirt and grime, desolation
And lingering pain are gone -
All is bright, shining, glowing
With each heart beat of
Eager waiting to welcome you!

I have lit the candle of my life
For you - it burns bright
It burns slow - it is stillness
Resting, patient and expectant!

The incense is burning
To welcome the New Year
And you who are ageless
And also ever new open
Yet another door for me
To enter and pass through.

The scarlet and yellow tulips
Are dancing I hear the music
Of the chiming winds and the
Dancing spheres - O my soul,
O my tender love you are my
Tiger in the darkness of the night
Your burning eyes are rays of the Sun
Refracting light and making tender
Love to me love to me.

Light of my life
My only love
How far I have strayed!
How far have I wandered!

I retrace my steps
Standing on the rooftop
Of my father's old house
I wear a brown check Kameez
All sixteen years spent in the Sun.
I reverie, revisit the past
All life in front of me
Like a buttercup dawn
A sunlit dream to unfold
Like a lotus flower.

Now a long journey
Is behind me
Life has been lived
A potpourri of good and bad
It is done!

As I lie in bed on a freezing
February chill, lightless day
A grey dawn enters to remind me
It is time now to light the lamp
That I carry in my heart for you
And make music with each
Rounded breath, forgive and forget.

If people are indifferent
In this cold climate and friends
Forget preoccupied with
Their own lives and chores
You are always here my love
To keep me company
You sing to me -
What is there to fear?
Each step is a new
Odyssey, a new exploration
Each moment is a treasured
Footfall whilst I lie still
Held in your embrace
Loved and cherished
As I have never been before
I listen to your words of wisdom!

Lord of love - light in my eyes
Sharer of my brief life
My joys and my anguish and
The present gripping pain.

Most of the time I manage
Carrying your love in my heart
Drawing comfort drawing strength
But the odd day and night hammers
Home the truth that my body
Is a weak weary container.

My spine is a falling tower
Weak and crumbling by the year
My sciatic nerve is
A grinding journey down my left hip
Reaching down a burning knee
Wrapping my leg in dull, dragging
Biting wretched ache.

I get out of bed despairingly
Do a little walk about and muse
You are there with me
Each little step I take you guide
And support me tenderly
Shower me with love and I laugh
And cope even do a little pirouette.

I think of thousands who are crippled
Millions in much greater pain
Than I would ever know or experience
You teach me to love and you
Teach me humility and love
An empathy and metta for all.

You are the keeper of my crooked spine
My great lover and comforter you
Held by you my now still body sings
Relaxed in your arms I fall asleep.

You my life and love take away all burdens
And make me light and free I truly love you
My body, mind mender I am with you.

Lord of my heart love
Light of my life that
Lights up my dark path
Shines bright day and night.

How will I love you and adore you?
How will I show you the myriad ways
And the new ones I discover daily
To love you most ardently.

I m bathing your tired feet
Rub them with honey and wash them
With rosewater and lavender
Rub your whole body down to cool.

Then I will lay down your fresh clothes
Sky blue silks from Bangalore
By your bedside they would wait
With seven nutmegs I sent for
All the way from Mysore laden
With cinnamon and neroli
Patchouli and jasmine and
Camphor that is coming from
All the way from Lahore.

The musk from the Himalyas
Has already arrived and is there
For the asking in a silver lotus jar.
All scented cooled and bathed you
My fragrant pure rose will make
A beeline for my bed.

In rosetinted sheets we will make merry
Share stories of magical journeys
Our discoveries of treasures
Our triumphs and our defeats
Of life's battles lost and won
Share our great joys and sorrows
Hold each other in our embrace
Savour the now moment that
There will be always and no tomorrow.

Lord of my fragile love
My ephemeral life - my joy my light
Forgive me for I have strayed
And aimlessly wandered once again!

Deluded by the grandeur that
I mistook for goldleaf
As my eyes were momentarily
Mesmerised I forgot to dig deep
To see what lay behind all this
Fool's easily gained gold!

You are right to chide me
You told me to be cautious
But like a trusting child
Impatient to discover
The wide world I rushed headlong
Forward taking risks
Threw caution to the
Chill February winds of deception.

You are right to mock me as I
Discovered a rusty stale heart
Locked in an iron cage ready
To crumble, decay and die.

I dare not stay and spend time
In this dark manmade hole
Unable to face light without
A comforting warmth, no air,
No sun, dark, damp, decay pervaded
Stagnation suffocated in the
Prison that this self created!
Contrite now feeling humbled
I retrace my steps and run back
Seeking your care, seeking your asylum
I beg for forgiveness from my gentle love.

I promise never to bestow my feelings
Indiscriminately on undeserving dummies
Who pretend to rule the earth!
Yet they afraid to confront themselves
In the dark corners of their souls
And kill their shadows -
One dimensional sad lost men -
Yet you my love ruler of my heart
Alone are the pearl the only one
True substance among them
I am honoured indeed to have
Won your love and heart -
My true authentic everlasting Love.

Lord of my forever love
My brief life my only light
I am crawling forward
now on my belly
the progress is painfully slow.

I grit my teeth and forget the pain
Tie a headscarf round my temples
And try to forget the detritus
That I was left to sweep and carry
Overtime it clung to me.

Some thirty years ago I made a place
I thought was for me but was taken over
An army of other people, needy people,
Sad people, lost souls, greedy people
And I let them take me over too.

Each one of them left a mark on my heart
Left the place uncared for, unloved
And their debris all behind for me to shift.
So preoccupied were they with new pursuits.

Today I am sifting through mountains of gunge
Manmade dustpiles, dirtpiles cling and painful
Memorablia years of learning, growing up is
Made obscure with layers of dust and smothered
With old spillages and cobwebs.

I think I am nearly there now at the core
Of my being becoming more authentic
My true self I have less need to please
And rescue others make this place my ownl.
I am resigning now from being a caretaker!
Having your presence gives me new strength
Makes me dig out of all these holes
A little easier more determined.

It also stops me thinking of ~Thanatos
And invite Yama the God of Death
In case I have left it all too late
In case time and this frail life run out on me.

Come hold my hand my love, comfort me
I need new courage, new tenacity
To learn to take new hesitant steps
Some baby steps have already been taken

Adventure awaits me new discoveries
Are not distant now and my new found
Creativity is beckoning me with its
Own magical music and my love sings to me
Have courage my heart, you are nearly there!

Keeper of my sacred love
Ruler of my fragile life
I am waiting and expectant
For Spring to sing.

Fourteenth February has arrived
Robed in sunshine, gold spring time.
Just the day when a peregrine
Chooses his mate and male doves
Sing chosen mellow love songs.

My purple crocus carpeted
Garden looks so festive, ready
To welcome you.
The Christmas roses beam a
Joyous smile how fortunate
My love, that you chose
A mate in me!

All those decades of waiting
All those cold empty years
Of want and waste and then
The discovery of perfection
A rare unity seldom found
Is given to me unconditionally.

My love showers me with affection
Beyond description beyond recall
To celebrate this love of ours
I have dressed and robed myself
In scarlet silks and gold freshly
Bathed in lavendar and scented rose

My hair is braided Medusa like
Eyes etched in black hold depth
Of passion for my love
My hennaed hands flutter
And bangles jingle in unison
Chanting your mantra name
They dance in rhythm
To the beat of my heart.

Ready am I now indeed
To receive your tender love
To drink the rich sweet nectar
Of your honeyed lips
I slowly savour and sip all
That is given to me
By my lion hearted love
It is all so new, so new
So new to me and I pinch
Myself to wake up to our
Fresh reality.

Lord of my infinite love
My vast treasure - my joy
It is a lasting comfort
To have you by my side!

Spring has come early
The daffodils are blooming
On 17th February its unusual!
"Seasons run into eachother",
said my friend the wise Buddhist
who shook his head in collective
sadness and "It is all because of
the hole that's rent in the sky
and global warming is surely
on its way and here to stay!"

I paid little heed to his dire warning
So lost I was with the fleeting beauty
Of the gossamer hellebores
Dancing in the dappled sun rose white
Mingling with the gold of the daffodils
I found my spirit move my heart skip
And dance soaring my spirit to the sun
My lover 'Karna' Shantanu the Sun God
Stay with me forever I love you, only you,
My love, love life, My only Shantanu.

I am awake at sunrise
And run to the Mersey
To view the Sun God
Hold the river in his tight embrace
And light the tops of Manchester planes
In burnished golden fire
I sing a song of you
My celestial lover
My only Shantanu.

As I run to the Water Park
I notice birds busy choosing
Their mates and magpies
Noisily fighting, busy building
Their nests and stealing
Sticks and grasses from each other!
Three magpies two nests on
One Poplar tree
Creates noise and disharmony!

At 8.30 I am at my desk
Opening my post at Chorlton Park.
A busy day ahead, staff meetings,
Budget meetings, students, parents
And visitors to see and the Creche
Is having problems too.
Doreen comes up with a kindly smile
And offers me a cup of coffee.

I make light conversation and say
"Spring is here Doreen, I saw three
magpies raucously fighting over
sticks to build their nests and
the collard doves are cooing
and grooming busy choosing their mates!"
"What about you?" says Doreen
"you have been alone a long time,
all the six or seven years I have known you"!
There is a hint of concern and care
In her voice as she adds
"It is not good to go to an empty house
after a busy mad day in this place
everyone wanting a piece of you
and at home no one to share and talk to."

I thanked her for her kindly care
Assured her that my solitude was
By choice alone.
Little did she know my tender love
Celestial ruler of my heart
Breath of my breath
Body of my body
Soul of my soul
You give me nurturance
Shelter me and shield me
You are my eternal companion
Beyond comparison
With you by my side always
How can I be alone!
In my solitude I know
How cherished I am
How blessed I am
How loved I am always!

Lord of love
My orange robed lover
What exquisite delights
You have shared with me!
From the tip of my toes
To the top of my head
I am awash with a deeply felt
Awareness and a complete
Consciousness of a unity
And merging with you.

In you I have experienced
The self soar and take flights
Heaven ward and balance
Hedonism of the tip of a
Single atom and fuse with
The self into a perfect union.

All elements unified -
Music is now pure music
It pours fourth from
Heaven, earth and four directions.
Light permeates and breathes light
renders life into all it reaches.

Visions dreamed and painted
Surreal imagery surrounds me
The self sings with joy that
has no ending and my love for you
Then grows and grows
Like the ever expanding universe.

In this trance like state
Of suspended animation
I stay rooted feeling the lingering
Of your firm hands gently bathing,
Blessing, healing and mending me
And showering me
With wealths untold.

It is then my shantanu
The self dances
The eternal dance of Shiva
And the celestial consort Parvathi
You are my Krishna
My eternal Charioteer
Sing Geetha to me
Sing Geetha to me
Sing Geetha to me!

Lord of my burning passion
Pinnacle of my desire

I have thrown conformity
Out of the window
It lies all tangled
Shrivelled up, dying
In a prickly briar.

We sing along and dance
All night in illuminated
Dance halls of desire
Twin souls in rapturous passion
Making love in novel fashions
Ten thousand mirrors
Catch your reflection
Magnifying your frame
From every angle
What exquisite beauty and charm
You possess my Lord!

I have given up looking
For approval from high places
Respectable corners are closed
I am forbidden to enter them.
Condemned my family and friends
I dance in defiance and don't care
For the worn out mantle of
Respectability. Run rings around
The so called 'norm'
It matters not if I am
Called a crazy woman!

Lord of my love
Your gentleness
Never ceases
Your comfort me
When I am faced with
Cruelty and sadism
Persecution beyond belief.

You hold my hand tenderly
When I look at the
Sad wrinkled face
Of Palden Gyatso
Who has suffered
And been a witness to
Torture, terror and
Endless distress.
Yet his face is gentle
Writ large with compassion
It stirs me so
I weep in distress
Examining the plethora
Of weapons and instruments
Of torture his jailers used
How can some be so cruel
Their hearts turned to stone
Oh my lord of mercy!

What courage kept
Him going I wonder?
I marvel at his gentle
Giant human spirit
Encased in shrunken
Skin and puny bones
His batlike ears are
Rendered deaf
With constant beatings
His mouth is damaged
And burnt and shrivelled
With electric rods
His frail body is utter pain
And yet he has travelled
Propelled himself to tell us all.

How ignorant and callous
His jailors were not to benefit
At all from his beautiful spirit!
What did they gain my lord?
Humiliating and breaking the
Spirit of their own kind
Coercing him to dance and perform
To entertain their bored minds.
They coerced many to dance
Perform ugly acts for
their entertainment before
Executing them.

I am filled with nausea
And much revulsion my love!
When would we ever learn
When would that new era come
When would the oppressors
Realise their wrongs?

Stripping Palden Gyatso's
Dignity, brandishing him with
Burns has created such a
Terrible tragedy for them -
Impoverished miserable men
Following imbecile orders.
Men who take over other
People's houses, wealth
And land will never win!

Lord of love
Light of my life
I am so glad that
You have guided me
To come here today
And bow to Palden Gyatso
I bend my head low
Before him for his courage
One day I would travel to
Dharamsala and bathe his feet
With love and veneration
For like you my love
He is a very rare man.

Light of my life
My precious lover
Of my days and dreams
What pleasures you offer daily
What new ecstasies to savour!

I ride and fly on the back
Of a pink gossamer dream
Of a winged Pegasus
Forget my body and all
My aches and pains.

Last night you proffered
Me visions of peacock trees
Laden with emeralds and rubies!
I heard and saw new visions
Such sweet music of Arabia
I danced the Raqs Sharaki
Swaying with a kafila
Of camels decked
With pearls, silks and
Thick golden braids.

A group of dusky maidens
I saw all sinuously swaying
Their pythonous hips to the sun
Beating rhythm with their bellies
Jewelled with silken colours
Of gold and the magenta
Desert sun.

You my loving lord
riding your white camel
bend low and pick me
from the crowd
and sit me by your side.
We glide past
The shimmering rainbow sands
Listening to the sad sweet
Slow desert melodies
Hauntingly lilting
Liltingly haunting.

Mesmerised I kiss
Your hand and chant
My desert warrior prince
Is the only one
The only one for me
My universal love
My desert Sheikh
My camel riding bridegroom!

My dearest love
My unending sweet dream
Light of my life
Bereft of time and space
I have missed your presence!

Hopeless competitors will come and go
Lovers may linger longer
Or have short stays
Be chimera in the memory calendar
You with your constancy
And everlasting charm
Will be there till life's
Journey ends!

You are that rare charm of mine
A talisman against all harm
And occasional wounding
I am heartened by your love always!

It is harvest time now
All is plentiful and ripe but
When scarcity and chill need
Strike at the heart and
Emotional hunger gnaws
Nothing but emptiness
Like a doom-laden nightmare
Unending that is relentless
You lift me up from low
And hold me high
Your gentle kisses
Heal and satisfy and still

All lingering doubts
Your balmy touch mends
All ills and takes away the pain.

My homage to you
Tanscends all mends all
Spirituality reigns
You of a higher realm
Have chosen to anoint me today
With your infinite love
Honey coated I become
Your muse, you shower me
With love's tender rose petals!

You my lord and love
Are unique rarest of them all
And I your true disciple
Will give my all and serve you
Always,always, always
My love, my universe
My only true S H A N T A N U!

Lord of love
Light of my life
Lost in my own pain
My aching limbs
My infirmities
I had forgotten
The universal
Preoccupied with
The particular
Was I!

So grateful I am
To you, my Lord
For sharing the vision
Of Paldon Gyatso
The venerable
Form of the Buddha -
The dispossessed Tibetan.

When I saw
His sparrow hands
His clawed flesh
His toothless mouth
And the torn tongue
The light I saw
In his eyes
Burning bright
Was you.


In his smile
In his compassion
Beyond belief
And the forgiveness
Towards his jailors
Who tortured him
For thirty-three
Long years!
Was Shantanu,
The infinite you.

Paldon Gyatso
Spoke of the terrible
Hunger that he endured.
He subsisted on one bowl
Of soup per day and told
Tales of companions who
In extreme desperation
Ate rats, chewed discarded
Bones, insects, leather, and
Anything that was green
And moved into their vision.

In a strong voice
Full of resonance
He narrated the years
Of sorrow and toil
When he stayed yoked
To a plough for nine hours
Daily digging stony land.
He talked of his searing pain
And burning flesh
When he was whipped
For falling down or stumbling
With three leather thongs.
Many fell and many died
But his divine Buddha nature
I know gave him sustenance.

Lord of my love
He had much to tell
Spoke of exterminations
And daily executions!
The irony of the Chinese
Jailors who sent bills
For spent bullets to
The grieving families.
They made those who
Were made to witness
Dance to celebrate
The ending of their lives.

Paldon had each injustice
Etched in his heart but
Showed no anger
For his persecutors.
Instead in a gentle resonant
Voice he forgave them
In a deep dignified way.
Slowly, he unwrapped
A cloth bundle and brought
Out the torture weapons,
Knives, double edged and clawed.
He took out each sinister
Implement of death,
Sharp edged torture rings,
Electric shock sticks
Leg irons, and handcuffs.

He demonstrated the way
He was hung upside down
For hours on end for days
When his excreta and urine
Flowed involuntarily
Leaving him powerless, shamed.
He kept his dignity
There was no attachment
To the numerous humiliations
Meted out to him
For thirty three long years!

My forgiving love
I was a witness to his pain
Horrified I heard and saw
His ocean of hurt and suffering.
Towards the end of his talk
He spoke about non-violence
Said a prayer for peace
And his vision of a free Tibet
I recognised the Spirit
Stronger than the body
Enduring, immortal, undestructive.

Lord of love - keeper of my life
You told me to observe
Pay heed to how Paldon
Wrapped each knife
Bandaging its sharpness
Keeping it lovingly in wraps
Then storing them safely
In a precious bag!
What was he trying to teach me?

They were lethal weapons
Yet so precious to him -
Not just for testimony
For long shut away years
But instead a powerful symbol
For life, living and loving
All beings and human kind.

By cherishing the knives
The handcuffs, the batons,
Numerous electric shock
Implements, nooses and rings
He was changing their inherent
Destructive nature -
In his hands they were
Rendered safe and harmless.

I have much to thank you
My loving kindness, lord
I thank you for guiding me
To see him and keeping me company.
In his hour of relived darkness
You showed me that love
Moves colossal barriers
And changes all - I'll remember
Always the rare quality
Of forgiveness and freedom
Of great love, of peace
The universality we share
With Paldon and others
Who grow with pain
And develop new strengths
To force their enemies
To retreat and be FREE.

Lord of my infinite love
Burning light of my life
Lost in my personal pain
My various infirmities
I had momentarily forgotten
The natural of universal suffering
So preoccupied with this particular
Ephemeral body was I!

So grateful I am to you my Lord
For sharing with me the visions of
Paldon Gyatso - the venerable
Form of Buddha the Tibetan
Driven away from home and dispossessed.

When I saw his sparrow claw hands
His gnawed flesh his toothless mouth
With his torn tongue - the light I saw
Burning bright was you!

His smile held compassion beyond belief
And forgiveness for his captors
Who heedlessly, needlessly tortured him
For thirty three long years!

Paldon Gyatso spoke of the terrible hunger
That consumed his body daily
He existed on a bowl of soup a day.
Such desperate tales he told of his
Fellow prisoners who were driven to eat
Rats, chewed discarded bones, insects,
Bits of rope and leather anything that
Was green or moved into their vision.
In a strong voice full of resonance
He narrated the years of told
When he stayed yoked to a plough
For nine hours daily digging stony land.
He talked of the searing burning pain
When he was whipped for stumbling
With three leather knotted thongs.

Many fell and many died but his divine
Buddha nature kept him protected
Shielded him and gave him sustenance
His inner Buddha taught him patience.

Lord of love he had so much to tell
Of exterminations, executions,
Hangings and the Chinese jailors
Sent bills to the families for bullets used!
They made the waiting prisoners dance
To celebrate the impending ending
Of their lives!

Paldon Gyatso had each injustice
Etched in his heart but showed
No anger for his jailors his endless
Line of persecutors instead in a
Gentle voice he forgave them.

In such a dignified way he displayed
The torture implements, knives
Double edged and clawed he took out
Many implements of death
Electric shock sticks
Various handcuffs and torture rings.

He showed the way he was hung
Upside down for hours and hours
On end and his excreta and urine
Flowed involuntarily leaving him
Humiliated leaving him shamed!
He kept the dignity of his spirit
Nor did he attach himself
To the many humiliations inflicted daily
For thirty three long years!

My compassionate love
I was a witness to his suffering
To his immense ocean of pain
Horrified I heard the words
Describing his endless hurts.

Towards the end when he talked
Of non-violence and said a prayer
For peace and his vision of a free
Tibet I recognised his spirit stronger
Than the mortal body enduring
Undestructive standing the test of time!

Lord of this frail body keeper of my life
You told me to observe and pay heed how
Paldon Gyatso wrapped each knife
Bandaging its sharpness, keeping it lovingly
Under wraps and stored them all safely
In a precious bag what was he trying to
Say to me to teach me?

They were lethal weapons and yet
They were precious to him -
Not just for evidence, testimony
To long shut away stolen years.
But a great symbol for the endurance
Of the soul and its capacity
To love all human kind and transform
The destructive into constructive.

By cherishing the ugly knives
The handcuffs and the batons
Electric shock implements he
Was changing their destructive nature
In his hands they were rendered safe
They were made harmless and had
The power to heal him and all
Those who heard his story.

I have much to thank you
My loving gentle kindness Lord
I thank you for taking me to see him
And staying with me in his hour of
Relived darkness. You helped me to see
That love changes all.

I will remember always the rare quality
Of forgiveness and freedom of great love
Of peace and universality we share
With Paldon Gyatso and others who
Grow through pain and one day
Attain their freedom their rights.